Six Questions for Eliza Adler and Megan Delano, School Counselors

12/30/2024

School counselors fulfill a vital function. Adolescents are wrestling with mental-health challenges as never before—and counselors are there to step in, providing support, guidance, and skill-building. Eliza Adler, director of counseling services, and Megan Delano, school counselor and head of wellness programming, are the dynamic team that makes up the Rivers counseling office. Both are trained clinicians who spend their days speaking with students and families about a range of challenges and concerns, large and small, as well as planning and executing programming that supports the entire Rivers community. Both joined Rivers in the COVID era. We caught up with them recently to chat about the pandemic’s impact on their work, the positive and negative effects of social media, and the path that brought each of them to the work. Adler and Delano agree that teens are navigating an increasingly complicated world. “That’s why you’ve got to ask for help,” said Adler.

Not everyone knows what the job of school counselors entails. What is your “elevator speech” for describing your role?

Megan Delano: We are not guidance counselors or academic counselors. We are mental health clinicians. There’s such a wide array of students, families, and faculty who come to see us. It could be students dropping in once with an in-the-moment stressor. Or someone who comes throughout the year, to manage more intensive mental health difficulties.

Eliza Adler: I would say that we work with a combination of students, families, faculty, and administrators. Students and families can seek us out for small mental health concerns, like anxiety over a math test, or bigger concerns, like a divorce or a move. Students also seek us out because they are grappling with internal questions of identity or social concerns. In a typical year, we provide support for about 20 percent of students.

What led you to pursue a career in counseling, and specifically in school counseling?

EA: I knew I wanted to work with adolescents. Being in a school allows me to work collaboratively with the many adults in our students’ lives, rather than in the isolation of an outpatient therapy practice. Often it takes multiple avenues to support a student, and we have the advantage of working across disciplines here at Rivers. This enables us to provide students with the best possible mental health outcomes and a sense of having a community of caring adults in their lives.

MD: I started my counseling journey studying art therapy as an undergrad. I have always been drawn to art as a way of communicating and healing, and finding out this was a career option was incredibly appealing to me. I knew I wanted to work with kids. I did a number of internships and realized that the places that felt like the best fit involved working with adolescents. I think it is a transformative time in a person’s life, and to be a support person during that time is such an honor.

How did the pandemic change the work you do?

EA: We’re seeing a lot of missed developmental opportunities. Behaviors we used to see in middle school we now see in high school—middle school angsty stuff. Right now we believe we’re experiencing a larger bump because when COVID hit, these kids were in late elementary school and middle school and missed a number of opportunities for in-person social development. Things might even out later.

MD: There’s still a lot we don’t know about how the pandemic impacted adolescents and kids who were in crucial developmental ages. There are a lot of questions, and there’s a lot of talk about mental health, about a rise in suicidality, anxiety, depression. We just don’t know fully what is to come.

From where you stand, what impact has social media had on adolescent mental health?

EA: (With a laugh) A negative one!

MD: This is more and more a topic of conversation in our work—much more so than when I became a clinician 10 years ago. Teens are struggling with how they navigate social media, and it’s a challenge to know what is best. It’s a normal social experience for adolescents now; it wasn’t for us. We try to support kids and reassure them their emotions are valid, if they’re feeling isolated and excluded on social media. I’m sure there are positive opportunities to find community, maintain relationships, and make connections. But the dark sides—the comparisons, the feelings of isolation—overshadow those positives.

EA: While social media existed in the early 2000s, there weren’t smartphones. It felt much more benign; algorithms were not curating your feed. The acceleration has been exponential. If there were a way to take away the nefarious effects—if it was just going online and finding connection—that could be positive for adolescents who feel “othered” in their own homes. There could be some potential positives there, through connecting on social media.

If you could offer one piece of advice to parents of adolescents, what would it be?

EA: Ask for help. If you don't know something, that’s OK. We’re here to support you, and if we can’t support you, we’ll direct you to someone who can. It’s the long game; there isn’t going to be a magic fix. You have to lay that foundation slowly over time, and build trust in order to deepen the relationship. Admittedly, it’s a lot easier when it’s not your kid.

MD: Don’t be afraid to talk about your child’s mental health. Asking the question isn’t going to make them worse; asking is the first step in the conversation.

What three items would you bring with you to a desert island?

EA: It depends on whether I’m with Megan. But I would have to go practical: a knife, a tarp to keep out the elements, and some rope. And someone to talk to.

MD: A hammock, some sort of murder mystery, and my emotional-support water bottle. I could relax in a hammock for an unlimited amount of time. And if Eliza and I were together, we could definitely survive.

A version of this story originally appeared in the Fall 2024 issue of the Riparan, Rivers’ alumni magazine.

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